Not a May December Romance
by Tonkswyrda
Summary: Remus finds Tonks after the Hospital wing scene, and they have a full blown argument- again. but maybe this time, Remus is coming to his senses?


Remus didn't know what to do now. He didn't work well under pressure like this. He stumbled. The words he had wanted to say got caught in his throat, and the ones he had said too many times before had come out instead, much to the chagrin of a few people in the room- namely one should be pink haired auror. He had thought she would have gotten what he was trying to say by now. They'd argued the point what seemed like millions of times, like she said. And yet they still weren't going anywhere.

"_You're not old. I'm just late. And don't even werewolves need a mate?" _He'd heard her muffled voice say through his door after he'd closed it in her face one day, so long ago.

"_I'm too old, I'm just too late. Solitary werewolves don't need a mate- I'm ruled by the moon. I can't be enough."_ Was all the reply he had given her.

Now he was beginning to think that had been a mistake. She had already left, embarrassed by her outburst- her sudden declaration of love- in front of all the kids. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he stood in the darkest corner he could find.

_Go after her. Find her. You have to sort this out, once and for all. You need to make up your mind. You know you still love her. Why make both of you miserable when you could both be happy. You know she really understands._

He shook his head. This was neither the time nor the place…

His head whipped around when McGonagall mentioned Scrimegour was coming up. He gulped. _Not good. The ministry is going to be even more anti-werewolf after this attack on Bill…_ silently, after Harry, he left. He needed to clear his head, and figure out what he was going to do. He couldn't very well leave it like this, not matter how much good it would do her in the long run.

_She might not be here for the long run. She is an auror after all…_

No. he couldn't think like that…

_But you know it's the truth._

Passing the rustic gates, Remus marched into the silent spring night towards the Hogshead. _Poor Aberforth… _drowning his sorrows seemed like a good idea, as no sudden plan of action had sprung to mind yet. Apart from the obvious marching up and telling her he loved her (which he didn't think would go down to well after the scene in the hospital wing) nothing was really yelling out at him as a good idea. _You're supposed to be a bloody Marauder! Plotting is what you do! _He hadn't acted like a true marauder in a while. _Coward. That's what you're acting like, and you know it. You're a coward. Face the facts. She loves you. You love her. What more is there? Much, much more. _Another part of him was screaming.

_Remus John Lupin, make up your effing mind._

He startled himself. He never got that close to swearing at anyone, not even himself. But maybe that was what he needed. A decision had to be reached.

The Hogshead was almost empty when he opened the door. Aberforth had heard, he could tell from his blank greeting. There were only a few other customers- a pair of wizards at the other end of the bar, and someone wearing a dark cloak pulled over their head, sitting in front of the fire. Sliding into a barstool, he nodded in thanks as Aberforth handed him a fire whiskey. He stared into the crackling fire, going through things he could say in his mind.

"_I'm sorry." "I messed up." "I didn't mean it." "I love you." "I'm a werewolf. It can never work." "I can't even support you." "I'm thirteen years older than you." "I'm too dangerous." "I don't care what anyone thinks. I want to be with you."_

They all sounded stupid in his head, especially put together like that.

Rubbing his numbing fingers together, he picked up his glass and decided to move closer to the fire.

Bad move.

The person sitting in the chair by the fire was staring vacantly into the flames, her dark eyes shimmering with tears. Her lank, mousy hair hung around her face, creating a curtain between them. All in all, Nymphadora looked a wreck.

_Come on, Remus. Get the ball rolling. SAY SOMETHING. _

"Err… I think we need to talk." _Good start!_

Her teary eyes narrowed as she glared into the flames, refusing to look at him. "I was under the impression we already did. I suppose you want to push me away again."

No… I… I… I just want to talk. Properly. Without an audience." He said pointedly.

"Fine." She stood up, and headed towards the bedrooms upstairs without a second glance. Remus hurried after her, and followed her to what was obviously the room she had been staying in for the past year almost. "So talk." She sat dully on the edge of the bed, examining her Docs rather than looking at him.

"Right. Well… err…" _Now is not really the best time to come up blank, Remus! _"Well… I don't get it."

"Get what?" Tonks asked, finally looking up at him, her expression slightly softer.  
"You… I don't get how you cant still like me after all this time. After what an ass I've been to you. I mean-" he was ranting now, and none of it made any sense to him, but he ploughing on desperately- "You're a rock and roll sort of girl. You have bright pink hair- well, normally, anyway. And… I'm not even tan!"

She had to stifle a giggle at that. _At least you're amusing her. _

"And… everything I've said before is true. I'm thirteen years older than you. Merlin, I could almost be your father! I would never be able to support you… and… full moons are unpredictable, Dora. If I can't get hold of any wolfs bane, if it doesn't work…I don't want to think about what could happen then."

Pulling at the laces on her boots, she frowned. "Everything I've already said is true too. But you do have a point."

"I do?" he didn't know whether he should be hopeful or disappointed…

"Yeah. You have been acting like a right Arse. And secondly, I can't date someone tan. It makes my hair look bad." She rolled her eyes, smirking slightly. "But-" her expression became serious again- "Thirteen years doesn't mean anything to me. I know couples who have a bigger age gap then that, and they're perfectly happy. And you know, maybe you were just born early, and I'm a bit late. Age has nothing to do with anything."

"But still-"

"Let me finish." She held up a hand, cutting him off. "It doesn't matter if you can't support me, because I can support you. Being an auror is actually quite a well paying job, because it's so dangerous. So money isn't an issue. If it bothers you that much, I'm sure you can get a muggle job. They're not exactly going to believe you if you put Lycanthropy at the top of your resume, are they? And you know as well as I do that money isn't everything, as long as you're happy."

"Makes everything easier though." Remus muttered under his breath.

"The easy path is hardly ever the right one." She said, swinging her feet. "And you know, if you're that worried about your wolfs bane being screwed up, I'll make it myself. I'm much better at potions now." She grinned.

"Joy."

"Yeah."

They were silent for a minute. Then-

"I changed my patronus for you." She murmured.

"That's very nice of you, but I'd rather you change it back." Remus said snarkily.

Her eyes flashed. "Not an option, I'm afraid. Its here to stay." She sighed. "Snape told me it looks weak. Git. It holds much better than my last one." She seemed to be talking more to herself than to him, so Remus didn't say anything.

She looked up at him. "I've told you a million times. I understand. I understand what you go through, I understand why you're afraid. But sometimes you just have to be brave."

"Easy for you to say. You've been in and out of relationships your whole life. I've only ever had two girlfriends before. And you know what? One of them scampered when she found out. And the other one was killed in the first war. So I'm sorry if I'm a little reluctant here, but in case you haven't noticed, anyone who's ever done any good for me is kind of dead right now."

"I'm sorry." Tonks said gently. "But you're wrong. I'm here. Harry's here. The rest of the order is still here, and none of them have a problem with what you are."

"Great. Form an orderly line then, we might as well make it easier for Voldemort."

"Now you're being a real asshole." Tonks said, glaring again. "And for your information, just because I've had a lot of relationships doesn't mean I'm any better at this then you. It just means my heart gets broken a hell of a lot more often."

"Bully for you." Remus muttered sourly.

"I can not believe you!" Tonks almost yelled, standing. "Argh! You're the one who wanted to talk, and here you are, complaining about how unfair life is! Life isn't fair!"

"No way! Well, this isn't a May December Romance, you know! This isn't going to be perfect, this isn't going to work!" Remus yelled back.

" You think you're the only one who has it bad? Harry has to kill Voldemort! Being a werewolf should be a walk in the park in comparison to how the hell he is going to do that! And now you're just standing there, trying to make your own life even more unfair, because now you don't think you can be happy!" sighing, she sat down. "I don't get you, sometimes. I don't get you at all. You're all nice one minute, and then the next, you're pushing me away like we never had anything. I feel like- like I have to beg to get anything from you."

Remus stared at his feet. _Coward. I told you so. You shouldn't have lost it like that. Control…_

"I… I didn't mean to do that, Dora. Honestly… you don't know how normal people treat… people like me. I'm trying to protect you from that."

"I'm a big girl now. I can make up my own mind. Besides. I live on the wild side." She smiled sadly at her own feet.

"Do you actually believe we could make this work?" Remus said doubtfully.

"If you're willing to try." She looked at him, her eyes hard with determination. "You're not old and broken to me. I love you, Remus. I love all of you, however hard that is for you to believe. I do."

_This is where you tell her "I love you" back._

"I… I know you do."

_Or not._

"So?"

"So." He sat on the bed next to her, listening to the creak of the springs, and his heart pounding in his chest. He was surprised she couldn't hear it…

_Make her happy. Make yourself happy. Tell her the truth about how you feel. Tell her you're sorry, and mean it this time. You know you can't fix what you've done in one day. But you've got forever to do that. _

_As long as neither of you dies first._

Carefully and slowly, and because the words were horribly stuck in his throat, he put his arm around her small (much smaller than he remembered, anyway) shoulders. He felt her shudder- but, after a moment, she sank back into his chest, sighing, and closed her eyes. She picked up his other hand, holding it tightly, as if she could never let go. The pressure of her cool hands was comfortable, and familiar feeling against his worn, scarred skin.

_Your throats unsticking. Tell her NOW._

"I love you. I'll love you forever." He whispered.

A small smile spread across her lips, but her only response was to squeeze his hand even tighter. But that was answer enough.

_I love you_ it said. _And I'm never letting you go again._

Because she was right. She was always right. Even werewolves need a mate. And he had found his.

**so, this has quotes from 2 wrock songs! May December Romance, by Nymphadoras Naronhouse (i have no idea how to spell that last part, if anyone knows, please tell me :D) and Please Remus by the Half Blood Princess. both are amazing songs, and you can hear them on the 2nd episode of the podcast of awesome ;)**

**review my lovelies!**


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